I’m easily bored and that’s a terrible trait to have. It’s quite possibly the unchillest thing about me because being disinterested and dismissive is… well, boring. I love people who are excited and love to over share. They have so much passion in their lives and I’m over here having to fake passion.
If you dont show a normal range of emotions, people will catch on that you’re dismissive and disinterested. For some weird reason, they’ll think you’re a mystery when really you’re just boring and mentally screwed up. (Personally speaking.)
And because you’re this “mystery” to them, people will attach themselves to you until they can solve it. That, my dear friends, is when I become kinda… ugh. I’m the observer, not the observed! (Well, usually.)
… you know, I wonder if this irritation is what others feel when I’m poking at them? Probably not. People generally like attention and talking about themselves. (Ex: People who beg or ask for asks.) (Hell, some part of me must like attention or else I wouldn’t have a blog.) So, when you give them attention, they’re more than willing to share.
And before you know it, these people are trusting you and wanting to hangout and go shopping… and you’re their friend.
I’m not really the BFF person. I like friends and I love people but in small doses. Sometimes, I have to take a break from the friendship thing and go into, what I call, a state of silence.
For a few months, I’ll suddenly just avoid as much contact with people online and in RL as possible. Now, my doctor claims this is just apart of my “Major depressive episodes” ( <—— read this in my high pitch mocking tone) but I claim that he’s an idiot.
But whatever, it all works out great because by the time I start talking to people again they either are mad me, think I’m mad at them, or have totally forgotten all about me. And suddenly, I’m no longer crowded by people. And I’ll admit that sometimes I miss them but mostly, it’s just a huge relief to not have people depending on you for emotional support. Like, that’s a lot of responsibility.
However, there are a few people who will see that I’m back and just fall back into step with me. It’ll be like I was never gone. And I think these people kinda understand me. That means they’re either crazy or that somehow, instead of me just being their friend, they became mine.
People are strange.